


Eulogy

by ThirdGenerationRockette



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: 3.06, F/M, Post-Funeral, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 08:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13736817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThirdGenerationRockette/pseuds/ThirdGenerationRockette
Summary: "What if I'd said I didn't want it?" She frowns and takes a sip of her tea. "The job, the promotion. What if I'd said actually, I'm happy where I am, thank you? What then? Did he even have anyone else in mind or was it just a case of he wants me in the job, so that's what he gets? I mean, he didn't even offer it to me, he just announced it as though it was a given that I'd accept it. God, the fucking arrogance of the man."





	Eulogy

"Can we head home?” His voice startles her slightly and she looks up at him, surprised to see him already changed into jeans and obviously ready to go.

“Sure, let me just…” She stops when he sighs, raising her eyebrows at his apparent impatience. “I’ll be two minutes, Will, and then yes, we can go home.”

“Okay.” He pulls the chair out opposite her and drops down into it, folding his hands behind his head and watching her.

“Are you seriously going to sit there and stare at me while I finish?” She hits send on the email she had just about finished when he walked in and starts to shut down her computer, aware of his eyes on her as she does.

“Two minutes? I think I can just about stand to stare at you for that long, yeah.” His eyes followed her as she turns off her screen, stands up and picks up her bag.

“There, it wasn’t even two minutes,” she says, smiling gently as she walks around the desk, waiting for him to stand before reaching out to take his hand. “Alright, let’s go.”

She keeps her fingers firmly knotted in his all the way home, just as she did the night he came out of prison and she had to greet him with the news about Charlie. Neither of them says a thing until a few blocks from home when she asks if he’s hungry, if he wants to pick up takeout, a question she regrets almost immediately when his eyes go wide and a lightbulb seems to go on suddenly in his brain.

"I’m not hungry in the slightest, but you need to eat,” he says, his tone firm, reminding her again of his promise to be the Director of Morale throughout her pregnancy, a thought that makes her sigh. “We need to make sure you’re having a proper, healthy dinner every night. No excuses. We need to-"

“After the day we’ve had, we should _both_ eat.” She stops him, squeezing his fingers and giving him a soft smile. “You need to be healthy too, I need you to stick to your promise about not dying.”

“Oh, I plan to.” He returns the smile and she’s relieved. “Do we need to stop?”

"Not unless there's something in particular you want?" she asks, realising as she says it that she hopes not because suddenly all she wants is to go home, to get changed into something comfortable and relax.

"Nope," he says, shaking his head and frowning slightly. "We have something at least edible in the fridge, right?"

“We do,” she says, uncrossing her legs and reaching down for her foot, wincing slightly. “Shit, pins and needles in my foot, sorry…but yeah, we have food, I just didn’t know if you wanted takeout.”

“Whatever we have is fine.” He pulls her foot into his lap, pleased when she gives him a smile and wriggles her toes against his hand in response.

“Good. I’d hate to have spent those weeks you were in prison making sure we had a working kitchen all for nothing.” She pauses, biting her lip slightly as he massages her foot but nodding at him to continue. “Mmm, that feels nice.”

“Probably something I should get used to doing, right?” He grins at her, the proud grin he now seems to have decided to adopt every time he refers to the fact they're having a baby. She certainly won’t discourage it, it’s sweet and she still hasn’t tired of the flip her stomach gives whenever he looks this happy.

“I doubt I’ll be turning the offer down over the next few months, that’s for sure.” She returns his smile and slides her foot from his lap and back into her shoe as they turn onto their block. “You may also have noticed that we have a nice, comfortable couch now too, and all I want is to take these shoes off, change my clothes and curl up on it while I try and stop my head from spinning over everything that’s happened today.”

He nods and squeezes her hand as the car comes to a stop, and she’s certain they’re thinking the same thing; that they found out they were having a baby on the very day they had to say goodbye to Charlie, and there’s just no way that can be a coincidence. A wave of something different hits her as they walk into the apartment, a recollection of something he said earlier, and she turns to him, frowning as she sees the tiredness in his eyes, knowing how hard today has been for him.

“I don’t want to move,” she says, pausing for a beat, biting her lip briefly before going on. “I love this apartment, Billy. I love that it was a total wreck when we bought it and we committed to getting it done, to making it just what we wanted, and already we're halfway there. I love that it’s ours and that it’s not in your old neighbourhood or mine, it’s somewhere new for both of us, and even though I’m really trying not to because it’s such early days I can already picture the second bedroom as the baby’s room, and I-“

“Honey…” His voice is soft, instantly soothing, and she wonders if he’s even going to bother trying to argue with her. She smiles sweetly at him and steps closer, not ashamed of her tactics if it means his earlier insistence that they needed a house can be reversed.

"Do you remember how many places we looked at before we found this one?" She lifts an eyebrow, certain he does remember.

"Fifty three," he says, smirking faintly.

"We did _not_ look at fifty three apartments." Narrowing her eyes, she shakes her head, unsurprised that it probably felt like that many to him, but still wanting to make her point. "Fourteen. And every single one of them was perfectly lovely, but none of them felt like home until we stepped inside this one, do you remember?"

"I remember you cried and I didn't have a fucking clue what was happening," he says, shrugging before he goes on. "I figured you hated it but that made no sense because it was the best place we'd seen by a _mile_. I mean, literally, everything else looked like shit in comparison."

"Exactly." She prods him in the chest and grins. "I'd never had that feeling before, of somewhere feeling like it was the only place I wanted to live, like if if we didn't get it I couldn't imagine that anywhere else would possibly measure up, so I...I don't want to move. I agree, we do need to finish the renovations, I don't particularly want to still be living on a construction site when the baby arrives, but I don't want us to finish only to up and sell the place."

"I know you love it, but we _can_ afford a house." He pauses briefly, sighing. "And doesn't it make sense to raise kids somewhere with more space? Maybe a yard, or-"

"Maybe eventually, yes, but babies are really little, they don't need a whole lot of space," she says, ignoring his use of kids, plural, and instead grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the window, pointing outside. "Riverside Park, Will. How many times have we wandered through there? How many times have I said to you that I love having the park so close? About a million times, that's how many. No house we buy is ever going to have a yard that big, no matter how much money is lurking in that great big wallet of yours."

"Alright, fine," he says, letting her slide her hand from his so she can sit on the edge of the couch and kick off her shoes, which she does with a satisfied sigh. "For now, we stay put."

Standing up, she leans in and kisses him, moving her hand to his chest and smiling against his lips before she pulls back. She isn't _entirely_ opposed to moving one day, but not yet, not while this apartment feels like the place they're meant to be, like the home that was waiting for them, and she wants it to be the home their baby starts his or her life in too. Her stomach starts to gurgle unexpectedly and she smiles at the realisation that she's hungry, meaning he probably is too, despite his assurances to the contrary.

"How do bagels sound to you?" she asks, wanting something quick and comforting that they can eat on the couch without mess. "And tea. Bagels and tea."

"It's hardly dinner though, Mackenzie." He sighs and she wonders just how soon they'll need to talk about him wrapping her in cotton wool, wonders if she'll need to remind him that she's been feeding herself successfully (or mostly, at least) for the last twenty something years so she's hardly going to forget now she's pregnant.

"We ate breakfast, we ate after the service, a bagel is just fine." She doesn't give him chance to argue, instead running her hand quickly down his arm before picking her shoes up and heading towards the hallway. "You can get them started, I really need to change."

The bagels are sliced and he's putting them under the grill when she walks back into the kitchen, so she starts to makes tea, the two of them moving around the kitchen quietly, in tandem, his shoulder occasionally brushing hers, her gaze catching his, weary smiles passing between them. They eat with the TV turned to ACN, the volume low, and she's reminded again of the other huge news of the day; she has Charlie's job.

"What if I'd said I didn't want it?" She frowns and takes a sip of her tea. "The job, the promotion. What if I'd said actually, I'm happy where I am, thank you? What then? Did he even have anyone else in mind or was it just a case of he wants me in the job, so that's what he gets? I mean, he didn't even offer it to me, he just _announced_ it as though it was a given that I'd accept it. God, the fucking arrogance of the man."

"I agree," he says, nodding but his tone wary. "He is arrogant, and that's why he needs you in this job. He knows damn well he needs someone who's strong and smart and who knows ACN well enough to care about its success, and that's why you have the job."

"But can I really work for someone who asked my husband's _permission_ to hire me?" She managed to suppress her irritation at that to get through the rest of the day, to make it through the show, but now they're home and it's quiet she has time to think about it and it still annoys her. "I mean, seriously? I sat in the back of a car with Pruit while Leona called him out on his sexism, yet only a couple of hours later he goes to you and not me. I really think he's a lost cause, a complete and utter misogynist, and I just agreed to work for him, I just-"

"He didn't ask my permission to hire you." He stops her, leaning forward and putting his plate on the coffee table, turning back to her. "Not as your husband, anyway. He said you were the obvious choice for the job and asked if, as managing editor of News Night, I agreed with him promoting you. Which of course I did. Nobody else would do that job with your integrity, and no one else would be mindful of what Charlie would have wanted, it's _your_ job, Mac, no doubt."

"Well, I'll probably be out the door when he finds out I'm pregnant anyway, so I doubt it's worth wasting my time getting angry about it." She sighs as she realises that at some point she really will need to have that conversation with Pruit, and she can picture his expression already. "So yeah, I guess it's my job for now and I just have to do what I can."

"Do you _not_ want the job?" He sounds worried and she sighs, putting her tea on the table and sliding her hand onto his thigh, settled slightly when he slips his fingers gently into hers.

"No, I do, I _think_ I do, no, I really do, I just...I love being an EP, I love being your EP, and I worry that upstairs I'm going to just end up drowning in paperwork and feeling completely out of the loop," she says, pausing, unsure of what she's trying to say. "I want to do a good job for Charlie, but I just wish...the whole thing starting with Pruit being a sexist arse doesn't exactly help fill me with enthusiasm."

"Like I said earlier, you have the job and you're going to get to _do_ the job, it's the best way you have of proving that even though he's an idiot he made the absolute right decision in hiring you. It's a win win." He stops and tightens his grip on her hand before he continues. "Who are you mad at? Him? Me?"

"I'm not mad at anyone, I'm...mad isn't quite the right word, but if I did happen to be somewhere on the scale of mad, it would be mostly at Pruit, and a little bit at you, but not really, and...stupidly, at Charlie." Stopping, she takes a deep breath. "Why did he have to die, Billy? And why now? We put him through years of crap and just when we're finally happy, this happens, and he's not going to meet our baby, and..."

She stops again, pulling their joined hands from his thigh and pressing them gently against her abdomen, focusing on everything they've gained, on the tiny new human who, against all the odds, is now quietly getting on with growing little webbed toes. Their baby is the size of a blueberry, if her quick googling before the show was correct, and moving in fits and starts, "like a jumping bean", the site said, something that makes her smile as she thinks about it now.

"I know, I can't believe he's not going to be around for this." His voice is low, his tone reflective and when she looks up at him there's a sadness in his eyes she guesses is matched in her own.

"Are you done?" She nods in the direction of their plates and mugs on the table in front of them.

"Yeah," he says, frowning slightly. "Do you need something else? I can see what we have, maybe there's-"

"I want to go to bed." Leaning up, she presses a kiss to his lips, firm and hopefully enough to let him know she doesn't mean she intends to go right to sleep.

"That's another thing. We need to buy a bed." He stands up and squeezes her hand, pulling her gently to her feet. "A real bed, I mean. You're pregnant, you can't keep sleeping on the floor."

"It's a _mattress_ on the floor." She smiles and shakes her head, tugging on his hand and moving in the direction of the bedroom, flicking the lamp off as she passes. "We're not exactly in sleeping bags on the street. But yes, a real bed would be nice. I'm not sure lowering myself on and off that mattress when I'm eight months pregnant is going to be much fun."

"Tomorrow. We'll buy a bed tomorrow." He states in the tone that says he'll be in her office half the day trying to get her to choose the one she likes.

"Slow down," she says, sighing and letting go of his hand as they walk into the bedroom. "I have no intention of buying a bed online. I want to go and shop for one properly, make sure we get something that's the right size and choose the best mattress. We don't need to buy the first one we find tomorrow."

He looks like he's about to raise a protest but it dies when she steps closer to him and slides her hands under his t-shirt, running her nails faintly down his stomach until she reaches the waistband of his jeans. It's been a strange day and she still can't quite make sense of how a day can be filled with so much sadness, only to also be the day when they got news she hadn't dared to hope for. She's tired but she needs this before she attempts to sleep, she needs _him_.

"In case it isn't immediately clear, I'm going to need you to end up inside me tonight, Billy, so it's going to be helpful if you take your jeans off," she says, moving her hand and slowly unzipping him before stepping back a fraction and pulling her tank top over her hand, biting back a smirk when his eyes drift immediately, automatically south. "And before you start on about your pregnant wife needing a proper bed, that mattress has served us perfectly well up to now. You managed to _get_ me pregnant on it, which is pretty impressive."

"Not necessarily." He slides his thumb gently over her nipple and her breath catches before she smiles at him.

"Not impressive?" She quirks an eyebrow and reaches again for his jeans, tugging them slowly down over his hips and pushing her hand into his shorts. "Because the odds the doctor gave me a couple of years ago would definitely suggest otherwise."

"I wasn't disagreeing with it being impressive," he says, pausing as she wraps her hand around him and starts to stroke him, feeling him begin to harden under her touch. "I was-"

"Speaking of impressive..." she says, grinning up at him, watching his eyes fix on hers.

"What I _was_ referring to was your certainty that this baby was conceived on that mattress." He stops and lets out a low groan as she tightens her grip slightly and runs her thumb over his swollen tip. "I mean, we shouldn't rule it out, but we did get started that night in the living room before we made it in here for round two."

"So we did...on that damn decorating table, drop cloth and all." Her hand stops moving and she pulls it put of his shorts. He groans again, this time with a hint of frustration. "Patience, honey...hurry up and take your jeans off and you'll get more than my hand."

"Is this a pregnancy thing, like hormones or whatever?" He pulls his jeans down and steps out of them, kicking them aside and watching as she reaches for the yoga pants she's wearing and slides them off.

"It's a 'this has been a really strange day and I want sex with my husband because I love him' thing," she says, watching the look in his eyes, the look he always gets when she tells him she loves him, the one that makes her want to stay home all day and repeat it for hours. "Any complaints?"

“No, never. But you’re…" He points in the direction of her stomach, frowning in concern, scratching the back of his neck. "I mean, can we…you know?"

"I was pregnant yesterday morning and it didn’t stop us. The only difference then was that we didn’t know yet." She takes his hand and rests it against her abdomen, watching as his eyes widen slightly, and she wonders if the weight of the day is finally hitting him and he just wants to sleep. "It's been a long day, so if you’re not in the mood we can just-"

She stops because she has no choice, his lips are on hers and his hands slide into her hair, his fingers softly stroking the back of her head, equally arousing and relaxing as he nudges her back towards the mattress. She pulls away long enough to push his t-shirt up, her hands resting on his chest as he takes it off and tosses it to the floor. Leaning forward, she slides her arms around him and presses herself against his chest, breathing him in and taking comfort from the warmth of his skin. Her hands move slowly down his back, almost of their own accord, her fingertips tracing the curve of his spine until her hands dip into his shorts.

"Take these off," she murmurs against him, following her words with a kiss and running her tongue around his nipple, grinning when she feels his touch on the back of her neck.

Pulling back, she lowers herself onto the mattress and watches as he takes off his shorts, stepping out of them without taking his eyes off her for a split second. She runs a hand slowly down her body, her fingers trailing across her breasts, her hard nipples peaking under his gaze. She bites her lip to hide her grin at the sight of his eyes widening, his hardness obvious now as he stands naked in front of her. He moves to stretch out next to her and his lips cover hers as his hand roams slowly down her body, her breath catching when his fingertips skim her ribs and she feels a slow warmth start to burn between her legs.

She needs to feel his fingers on her, inside her, so she pulls him with her, rolling back onto the pillow and parting her knees, a long moan filling the silence when he pushes his hand against her and slides his fingers through her wetness. Her hands grip his forearms, her fingers tightening their hold when she feels him slide one finger inside her, followed by a second, the sensation so overwhelming she has to remind herself to breathe.

"Good?" He pulls his mouth from her jawline, his tongue tickling her chin before he quirks an eyebrow at her.

"Mmm, jury's still out, you should probably keep going..." She knows he likes a challenge, she knows too that he can feel how wet she is, he can hear the sounds she's making, so he knows damn well the answer to his question is an unequivocal yes.

His fingers move deeper inside her, stroking harder until her strangled moan tells him he's found the spot he was looking for and he starts to press his middle finger just where she needs it. He's hard against her hip, and her stomach churns in anticipation, his fingers adding to her yearning, to the restlessness that tells her she's close, the indescribable throb deep within her gut building to an almost unbearable level as she knows she's about to come.

All it takes is the tiniest increase in pressure combined with a swipe of his thumb before she hears herself crying his name as she shudders, her muscles gripping his fingers, her whole body pulsating under his touch. He kisses her and she sighs against him, running her tongue slowly across his top lip before sliding it into his mouth. Her hands clutch his shoulders as he pulls his fingers out of her and rests his hand on her back, his touch soft, her own wetness warm and slightly sticky against her skin.

Rolling over, she pulls her lips from his and pushes him onto his back, watching him, cataloguing the darkness in his eyes, the hitch in his breathing, smirking at the groan he lets out when she straddles his thighs and starts to sink slowly down onto him. She needs him inside her, she wants to feel him as deep as possible, craving the connection more than ever tonight. The day flashes through her brain like a slideshow; the job, Charlie, the baby, and it feels like everything is changing. Everything but this, this doesn't change, this feeling she gets when she's with Will, the sense of belonging, of security, the knowledge that at the end of every day, no matter how long or how difficult, they have this, they have each other.

His hands shift to her hips, his fingers splaying out across her skin, his thumbs resting on her hipbones, gentle yet somehow firm enough to anchor her as she starts to move. Leaning forward just slightly, she bites her lip as the angle pushes him deeper into her, filling her completely as she settles into a slow, steady rhythm. She grips onto his arms, her fingers stroking through the soft hairs, her eyes fluttering shut for just a second as she catches her breath. When she opens them, he's smiling at her; a small, contented smile that feels like a silent 'I love you' and makes her stomach flutter.

His fingers curl into her skin and when she hears his breathing change she picks up the pace, watching his eyes as they lock with hers, his gaze dark and intense. His eyes drift down her neck and lower, and she feels her nipples tighten as his hand leaves her hip and reaches for her breast, his thumb softly scraping across her puckered skin. She's trying not to think too far ahead because...well, he's the superstitious one, she may as well leave the worrying to him, but still, she allows herself a millisecond of picturing them doing this when she's far more pregnant, when their baby is making itself much more obvious. The thought makes her smile.

When he runs the backs of his fingers down her stomach and his breath stutters slightly, she knows he's on the edge. She knows all too well that he's going to try and hold back too, but she's ready to feel his release inside her, ready to curl up against him, so she takes his hand and squeezes.

"Don't hold back, Billy, you've already knocked me up so there's no pressure there," she says, grinning at him, watching as a small bead of sweat starts to trickle slowly down his forehead, feeling his fingers tighten within hers. "Tell me what you need."

"Just..." He pauses, distracted briefly as she squeezes her muscles around him, her thighs trembling slightly, the look of pure ecstasy in his eyes making it worth the effort. "Faster, just...a little faster."

Clenching her legs more tightly around him, she starts to speed up, leaning forward and resting her hands on his chest as she grinds down harder onto him.

"We need..." She takes a breath, blows her hair out of her eyes. "A headboard. I don't know why we didn't just bring my bed, we did okay in that before we moved. I had a decent headboard, good for...hanging on to."

"A bed..." He grunts and she feels his hands on her back, his fingers caressing her skin, moving as low as he can reach, coming to rest on her ass. "We really fucking need a bed. Just like I told you."

"Alright, you win...we _do_ need a bed." Her fingers scramble for purchase, moving higher up his chest and eventually finding his shoulders, his strong muscles offering balance as she looks down at him and quirks an eyebrow. "But you've managed to come inside me on this mattress plenty of times before so I'm pretty sure you can do it again tonight."

Biting her lip, she refuses to pull her gaze from his and she hears herself moaning as the overwhelming feeling of him coming hard into her catches her off guard, even though she knew he was almost there.

"Fuck...God, Mackenzie, I..." His words fail him and he groans instead, her name buried somewhere within the mangled sounds falling from his lips and his hands sliding up and into her hair, his thumbs gently caressing her cheekbones.

Lifting herself up slightly, she sighs as he slips out of her and a faint shiver runs down her body, the hairs on her arms standing to attention. Climbing carefully from his lap, she rolls onto her side next to him and pushes her leg between his, her toes cold suddenly and needing the warmth of his skin. He runs a finger down her nose, slowly and gently before pressing it against her mouth, smiling softly as she purses her lips and kisses it.

"Good?" she murmurs, unable to keep the smirk from creeping onto her face.

"What do you think?" He smiles and she returns it, knowing she needs to force herself into the bathroom before she gets so warm and comfortable she won't be able to move.

"Bathroom," she says, leaning in and kissing him. "That's what I think."

She comes out of the bathroom half expecting to find him crashed out, so she's surprised to see him propped up on one elbow, watching her as she walks across the room and climbs into bed beside him. Matching his pose, she gives him a weary smile and moves closer, her legs tangling with his.

"How big is the baby right now?" He reaches across and presses his hand gently to her middle, the look of awe in his eyes bringing a lump to her throat. "Like, tennis ball sized?"

"Unless the doctor was way off then no, not yet," she says, covering his hand and smiling. "Right now we have a blueberry for a child. Well, not an actual blueberry, but a baby about the size of one, or maybe a little bit bigger."

"God, I really need to get a book, or start googling this stuff," he says, looking suddenly worried, his thumb moving softly against her skin.

"There's plenty of time for that, we literally just found out a few hours ago, I'm pretty sure it's not mandatory to know everything immediately." She slides down off her elbow and onto the pillow, turning slightly and watching as he does the same.

"Do you remember us talking about having kids?" he asks. "Way back, I mean."

"Yeah, I think I always entertained the _idea_ of having a family. When I was young, I mean, and then I...well, for a long time I definitely didn't. But I remember one day just realising without a doubt in my mind that I wanted a whole bunch of babies with you." She smiles at him, her imagined timeline still so clear in her mind, the pain of how she destroyed it fading a little more each day. "I remember thinking we'd probably be married by the time I was thirty-two, so we'd hopefully have the first one by the time I turned thirty-four, the second two years later, and then-"

"Jesus, how the hell many were you planning?" His eyes widen and she shrugs.

"Four," she says, without hesitation. "I wanted four, as close together in age as we could manage...God, that means I'd have been pregnant around now with number three."

"Well then, I guess we have some catching up to do." He smirks and shifts slightly, closing the gap between them and leaning forward to kiss her.

"I think we can safely rule out having four kids. All things considered, it's pretty amazing we're having a baby at all." She pauses, overwhelmed all over again at the thought of them defying almost impossible odds. "If we did get lucky enough to somehow end up with a second though, I wouldn't complain..."

"If we have two, we're _definitely_ buying a house." He kisses her again, to ward off her response, she suspects, even though she has no plans to argue with him over where to move when they have two kids when they haven't yet had the first.

"You alright?" she asks when he pulls back, watching him carefully as he nods.

"Of course," he says quickly, turning his hand under hers and gently entwining their fingers. "It may have _seemed_ like I freaked out, I can see that, but...fuck, Mackenzie, we're having a baby."

"Yes we are." She grins at him, she can't help it, because every time one of them speaks it aloud it becomes even more real, and she dares to get just a tiny bit more excited. "But I didn't mean...it's been a weird day, and you've only been home for a week, and we...just, losing Charlie and everything, I-"

"Honey." He stops her, his voice warm but firm, a smile edging into the corners of his eyes. "I'm okay. I _am_ , I'm okay."

She shifts forward a fraction and feels his hand move from her stomach to reach around her waist, his thumb stroking softly across her ribs, his fingers drifting down her back. For six weeks she missed this, his warmth beside her, his touch, the feel of his fingers on her skin, and not for the first time she's overcome with a wave of relief at finally having him back. And then it hits her again that she's no longer his EP, and she slides herself tighter against him, pressing her face to his chest, trying to push away her fear about how much everything is about to change. She's good at change, she takes it in her stride, but somehow this feels too big for that.

"Jim's your new EP, by the way." She remembers she hasn't told him, and she knows he's probably expecting it to be Don. "Be nice to him."

"I'm always nice to him," he says, and she thinks she hears a note of offence being taken.

"No, you're not, not always." Lifting her face, she looks up at him and smiles. "But he's ready for this, he really is. And you should remember that this baby might not even exist without him."

"So he's one of the possible suspects." He smirks and she feels his fingers slide lower down her back.

"Well, you _were_ languishing in prison for weeks...but I'm pretty sure you're the prime suspect here, McAvoy," she says, trying to fight a sudden yawn but failing. "You're stuck with us now."

"Nowhere else I'd want to be stuck." He pulls the sheet up around them and kisses the top of her head as she snuggles tighter against his chest. "Plus, when you knock up your boss you're signed up for life, I guess."

"You'd better believe I'll be having that written into your contract on Monday." She's glad he's talking, she was worried that the combination of all that's happened would see him shut down, like he tried to the night he came home from prison, after she told him about Charlie.

"We should go away this weekend," he says suddenly, his enthusiastic tone surprising her just as she thought he might be starting to doze off. "Not too far, but somewhere quiet, with a real bed and a good restaurant. We can leave after work tomorrow, come home Sunday, you get to start the new job refreshed, I'll be less likely to yell at Jim-"

"You can stop now, I'm sold," she says with a smile, shifting just enough to look up at him. "A weekend away sounds lovely."

His smile is sweet and warm, and if she thought there was half a chance they could do their jobs without moving from their current position, the twinkle in his eyes would be enough to deal the deal.

"You know, I was stuck in the back of a limo with Leona and Pruit today after the service..." She pauses because even though it was just a few hours ago it feels like a lifetime, almost like a strange hallucination triggered by the events of the day. "Anyway, I was thinking about how you were going to give the eulogy, and-"

"I know, I was, I _was_ going to." He stops her and there's something in his eyes, a sadness, a regret perhaps. "I wanted to, I just...when it came to it, I didn't know if I could do it, he was so..."

"I know, I wasn't criticising you for not doing it," she says quickly, reaching up to rest her hand on his cheek, wishing it was enough to shift the frown from his brow. "What I was thinking is that a eulogy is all about praising someone, thanking them, sharing the wonderful things about them, right?"

"Yeah." He nods and she feels his hand seeking hers, his frown fading a little when she takes it and entwines their fingers.

"Well, I think you kind of did give the eulogy, we both did. I think this baby is our eulogy, and I think Charlie is going to be looking down as proud as a peacock for bringing me to ACN just when I needed it, and when you needed me too, even though you'd never have admitted that at the time..." She pulls their joined hands between their bodies, prising his fingers from hers and pushing his hand against her still flat abdomen as she looks into his eyes. "No better eulogy."

He nods and she watches him swallow hard as they both fall silent, taking a moment to remember Charlie. He pulls her closer to him and she snuggles into his chest, sighing, exhausted suddenly.

"We're not calling this kid eulogy though." His voice is barely a murmur but she can hear his smile running through it.

"No, that _would_ be a step too far, I agree." She smiles too and closes her eyes, mustering up just enough energy for four more words. "I love you, Billy."


End file.
